


Home

by Mildly_Maddy



Series: Lullabye [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Baby Fic, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, M/M, mentions of "babygate" tinhattery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-02-21
Packaged: 2018-05-22 10:43:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6076320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mildly_Maddy/pseuds/Mildly_Maddy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Louis looked up when Liam stepped in the room, and beamed. The baby resting in the crook of his arm was small, smaller than any baby Liam had ever seen, with a silly tuft of dark hair on the top of his head and the most stunning blue eyes that ever were. His tiny baby hands were barely visible under the too-long sleeves of his Adidas bodysuit, and Liam didn't even know Adidas sold baby clothes but knowing Louis he might very well have had it custom-made.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Freddie, meet Payno. Payno, meet Freddie.”</i>
</p><p> </p><p>Follow-up to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/5814829">Only One</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home

**Author's Note:**

> This started out saccharine sweet and ended up in utter filth, I’m not quite sure what happened but I’m sure [Northern-Boys](http://northern-boys-love-gravy.tumblr.com/) is somehow to blame for it. And [Randominity](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Randominity/pseuds/Randominity) for saying Liam should try getting Louis to come just by talking to him. You’re both horrible people, I hope you’re ashamed.
> 
> As always, a billion thanks to you both for the betaing and mad cheerleading. I'd never get anything done if it wasn't for you, I hope you know that. <333
> 
> Sorry to say I had Louis and Danielle break up, just because I'm not into infidelity if I can help it. Also clearly I've got FEELINGS about the current tinhattery and some of it has bled into the fic. Sorry?
> 
> I'd promised myself I'd never use this song as a fic-title. Oh well.

Liam's mother was crying before the door to Louis's and Briana’s house had even opened. She'd teared up as they waited to be beeped in at the secured gate, sniffled the twenty steps it took to go from there to the stairs, sobbed up the ten steps to the front door. His dad kept stroking her arm, gruffly saying “There, you'll embarrass Liam, love,” but he also had tears in his eyes.

Liam wasn't crying. He wasn't doing much of anything else, either, truth be told. Staying upright and making sure his heart kept on beating was taking most of his focus.

Karen hugged Louis half to death, standing in the doorway, telling him again and again how proud she was and what a wonderful father he was going to be. Louis let himself be hugged, staring at Liam above her shoulder, eyes wet. Liam stared right back, standing stock still at the top of the stairs until his dad nudged him and he slipped past his mum to get inside. 

Johannah was waiting for him with her arms outstretched and he accepted her embrace gratefully, glad that she at least wasn't crying. Liam had loved her from the very first time he'd seen her, all the way back when he and Louis didn't know how to work together. He'd seen Louis lose all his bite and bravado when talking with her and he'd loved her for it, even though back then he didn't quite understand why.

“It's wonderful to have you here,” she whispered in his ear. “Lou was so relieved when he told me you were coming. How have you been?”

“Fine.” Liam knew she was genuinely interested, and he'd usually have elaborated, but all he could think about was Louis standing next to him, exchanging manly welcomes with Geoff, and how much he wanted to hug him.

Johannah let him go with a smile and Liam had barely turned around when his arms were full of Louis, pressed up against his chest with his hands fisted in the back of Liam's Adidas sweater, trying to tug him even closer.

“What the _fuck_ happened to your hair?!” Louis said, voice muffled by Liam's sweater. “I leave you alone for two fucking weeks and when I get you back you've got a new hand tattoo and no hair!”

Liam laughed, and maybe he was a little choked up but it didn't seem to matter right then. He closed his eyes and nuzzled his face against Louis's neck, relishing the feel of Louis’s stubble against his temple, breathing him in. It was the familiar mix of shampoo and hair gel and cologne and sweat, and something new, something that Liam couldn't place at first until he remembered why they were here; Louis smelled like baby formula.

“I leave _you_ for two weeks and when I get you back you have a baby,” he said as he straightened up.

Louis was grinning, but there were bags under his eyes and he looked the worse for wear. Liam stifled his guilt before it could rear up; there was no point wishing he'd come sooner now that he was finally here.

He looked around to find both their mothers looking at them with fond eyes and even fonder smiles and felt himself blush, stepping away from Louis.

“So where is the little angel?” Karen said, clapping her hands and doing a valiant effort not to start crying again.

“Briana’s just done feeding him. They're upstairs, I'll take you,” Johannah said. Karen and Geoff hurried up the stairs after her, but Liam hung back. He couldn't have explained it and he knew he was probably being stupid, but he didn't want to see the baby for the first time with five other people in the room.

“We'll go see him when they're done,” Louis said, as if reading Liam's mind, which was entirely possible and wouldn't have surprised Liam in the slightest.

“If my mum ever lets go of him.”

“I like that she cares,” Louis said with a small shrug, not looking at him. “It's nice.”

They stayed standing in the foyer for a few more minutes, both awkward in an utterly unfamiliar way. Liam could hear his mother cooing somewhere upstairs, and his dad's low voice, and from time to time teeny baby cries. Every time, his heart would clench, from anxiousness or longing, he couldn't have said.

“Just give me a second,” Louis suddenly said, and he was climbing the stairs two by two before Liam could say anything.

Now Liam was all alone. He felt anxious like he was about to pass some sort of exam, an exam he hadn't been able to study for and the result of which might just determine his entire future.

When the women and his dad filed back down, his mother dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief, Liam found himself standing straighter, hands behind his back.

“You can go up,” Briana told him with a little smile after he'd congratulated her. She looked just as tired as Louis, but she also looked happy, and proud.

He couldn't decide whether he wanted to run up the stairs or drag the moment a little longer, so he settled on something halfway which probably looked as awkward as he felt. A door a little down to the right was wide open and soft baby noises were coming from the inside.

“You be on your best behaviour, okay?” he heard Louis whisper in that voice he'd heard him use to soothe the baby on the phone. “No crying at Payno, that donut would think you didn't love him.”

Louis looked up when Liam stepped in the room, and beamed. The baby resting in the crook of his arm was small, smaller than any baby Liam had ever seen, with a silly tuft of dark hair on the top of his head and the most stunning blue eyes that ever were. His tiny baby hands were barely visible under the too-long sleeves of his Adidas bodysuit, and Liam didn't even know Adidas sold baby clothes but knowing Louis he might very well have had it custom-made.

“Freddie, meet Payno. Payno, meet Freddie.”

Liam tore his eyes away from the baby with some difficulty and looked up at Louis. He was probably grinning like an idiot but he really, really didn't care.

“I can’t believe you made this,” he whispered, awestruck, and Louis’s chuckle sounded unbearably fond.

“Yeah, I’m not quite sure how I did it either. Well to be fair Bri did most of the work. I'm only an early depositor. Want to hold him?”

Liam did want to hold him, but he was also deadly afraid of somehow managing to fumble and letting the baby drop to the ground. For all that Louis had told him he was afraid, he didn't look it at all, carrying the baby in one arm as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Then again, Liam had always known Louis would be great at this.

“Liam?”

“Right! Sure, I… if you think it's safe.”

Louis smirked. “It's a baby, not a piranha. Should be pretty safe.”

“I meant for him, you idiot.”

Louis didn't say anything to that, switching his hold on the baby, one hand under his head and another under his little baby butt. Liam held his breath as Louis gently deposited the baby in the cradle of his arms. He could barely feel the weight of him, but the baby's hand was warm under his trembling fingers when he stroked it, mesmerized by those tiny fingers he'd spent so long staring at on his phone.

He heard the click of a camera and looked up to see Louis slipping his phone back into the pocket of his hoodie, cheeks slightly pink.

“I'll be wanting that one,” Liam said, voice low so as not to scare the baby, and Louis’s cheeks only seemed to get pinker as he nodded his agreement.

The baby made a tiny startled noise and for a second Liam thought Freddie was going to start crying and he'd be that useless uncle that makes all the babies cry, but Freddie only kicked his little legs and closed his eyes, a small smile on his small pink lips.

“I didn't know newborns could smile,” Liam said, mortified to hear his voice shaking.

“It's just a reflex,” Louis said, one hand coming to rest on Liam's forearm, fingertips brushing the top of his baby's head. “But it means he's comfortable,” he added, and Liam wondered if he was imagining the touch of pride in the way Louis said it.

The warmth from Louis's hand seemed to instantly seep through the sleeve of Liam's sweater like molten lead, and he didn't know what to do with himself, and he couldn't stop staring down at that little baby, that newborn version of his Tommo, so soft and pink and fragile. He repressed a pout when Louis's hand left his arm, but then Louis's fingers were on his head, stroking his buzz cut, and Liam felt his neck heat up.

“I can't believe you cut your hair…” Louis said, sounding dazed.

Liam wanted to tell him that he'd cut it again and again if it meant Louis would stroke his head that way, but settled for “Thought it was time for a change,” instead.

“You look good,” Louis said in the same dazed voice, trailing his fingers down the side of Liam's face before letting his hand drop away. “Thanks for coming so fast,” he added, louder.

“Anytime,” Liam said, eyes still fixed on the baby, who seemed to have fallen fast asleep. He couldn't believe his mum had relinquished her hold on him so fast. He wanted to hold him forever.

“If you boys are done doing the introductions, I was thinking we could all have a drink on the patio?” Johannah asked from the doorway, voice soft and somehow even more motherly than usual.

It was only when Louis stepped away that Liam realized how close they'd been standing together. 

“Payno, feel up to going down the stairs with Freddie?” he asked, eyes twinkling like it was a dare. Liam was deadly afraid of tripping and sending the baby flying down the stairs but he'd never been able to turn down a challenge from Louis and Louis knew it.

“Of course,” he said, with much more assurance than he felt, gently tightening his grip on Freddie.

“Good. I'll carry the baby bouncer.”

Getting down that flight of stairs with little Tommo asleep in his arms and Louis waiting for him at the bottom with a cocky smile and twinkling eyes was the proudest moment of Liam's life, not that he would admit it to anyone.

\--

They could hear the others chatting happily on the patio as they made their way through the living-room.

“- such a beautiful name, was it easy agreeing on one?”

“Oh god no, we fought it about it for _weeks_ ,” Briana said with a laugh. “Lou was hell bent on calling him James for some reason, but all the James I’ve known were-”

“So! What would you all like to drink?” Louis all but shouted, striding outside through the French windows ahead of a shell-shocked Liam.

He followed Louis in a daze, listing famous James-s in his head, from James Potter to James Corden, trying to tell himself that it was one of them Louis had been thinking of, and failing. Everyone was speaking at the same time, informing Louis of their drinks of choice, which was probably the only reason Liam’s mum hadn’t yet said anything about the name. She hurried to him, eyes going back and forth between his face and the sleeping baby in his arms, clearly trying her best not to cry.

“ _Mum_ ,” Liam enjoined before she’d even opened her mouth. He stared pointedly at her, trying to make his inward chant of ‘Drop it drop it drop it’ loud enough for her to hear.

“I just think it’s so nice…” his mum whispered, stroking Freddie’s head with featherlight touches. She looked confused, clearly not understanding why her son wanted her to keep quiet.

“D’you want to hold him?” he asked to distract her, probably doing a poor job of hiding the reluctance from his voice. He didn’t want to hog the baby, but he really didn’t want to let go of him either.

His mum shook her head. “He looks so comfortable… It’d be a shame to wake him up.” She stood on tiptoes and pressed a kiss to Liam’s cheek before going back to her seat next to Johannah, and Liam found himself wishing he could go somewhere quiet and deserted to parse through all the conflicting emotions that seemed to be tearing his heart into little pieces.

Instead, he took a seat next to Briana, and did his best to participate in the conversation even while keeping his gaze firmly fixed on Freddie, who was still sound asleep in his lap, seemingly unaffected by all the noise, even though Liam felt like his head was going to explode from how loud everyone was being.

From time to time, though, Freddie smiled in his sleep and gave one of those huge baby sighs that shook his entire frame, and it was like someone was casting a muffliato spell over Liam until all he could hear were that sigh and the sound of his own heartbeat. He’d been foolishly truthful when he had told Louis he knew what it was to love someone so much it scared you. Every time Freddie sighed, he found himself thinking he knew it doubly so.

\--

He somehow managed to hold on to Freddie for most of the evening, all through the drinks and after Briana had fed him again, up until she gently took him back from Liam’s arms to take her leave under a collective cry of “Of course! You need your strength, darling, get as much sleep as you can!” from all the women present. Liam tried not to stare at her retreating figure too moodily, his arms feeling like useless lumps now that they weren’t holding the baby anymore. He’d never considered himself a baby person, not like Louis or Harry were, but he was quite certain he could have stared at little Tommo sleeping for days on end and not gotten bored of the sight of his pink puffy cheeks and fluttering eyelids or the way he’d stretch his tiny fingers then close them into teeny fists once more. It was like a thread of his heart had been wrapped around Freddie’s finger and the only reason Freddie hadn’t completely unravelled Liam’s heart yet was because the other half had been firmly wrapped around _Louis’s_ finger for five years now.

Once they were done with dinner, Liam trying to catch up on all the food he hadn’t been able to consume when his arms had been full of a sleeping baby, and the plates and dishes had been washed and put away, Liam discreetly escaped back to the patio, sitting at the top of the fancy marble stairs leading down to the garden and lighting a cigarette. He loved his parents and Louis’s family, and Briana’s folks were much nicer than the tabloids made them out to be, but he felt light-headed from the day and from jetlag and if he didn’t get some privacy, a chance to catalogue everything inside his own head without interference, he would probably snap.

Everything between Louis’s first message and the moment where he’d first laid eyes on Freddie was a blur. He’d had to comfort his mum as she cried tears of joy at 7 in the morning, not daring to tell her he hadn’t slept for fear she would insist on him changing their tickets so he could first take a nap. He’d packed his bags in a daze and had realized halfway through their trip to the airport that he’d forgotten them on his bed, saved from wearing the same jeans and sweatshirt for two weeks by the unfailing genius of Paddy, who had had the benefit of a full night’s sleep when it came to assessing the contents of the car’s boot. Then there’d been paps and journalists waiting for them at LAX, and he couldn't even remember what they had asked him or what he had told them, but his Twitter hadn’t imploded so apparently he hadn’t put his foot in it, for once.

The rush of relief and joy at seeing Louis again had done wonders at waking him up, at least. He just wished his utterly inappropriate feelings about his best friend weren’t muddling up his genuine happiness at meeting little Tommo. He felt ashamed with it, with that entanglement of love that made it impossible to look at Freddie and not have a tiny part of himself wish that he could be more than Uncle Liam, even though the thought in itself was crazy enough as to be laughable.

“So _that’s_ where you’ve been hiding out.”

Liam craned his neck to look behind him, but Louis was already stepping down the stairs, two beers in his hand.

“C’mon, make me some room,” he said, tapping Liam’s calves with the tip of one foot. Liam spread his legs open and Louis settled between them on the step below, holding a beer behind his head for Liam to take.

“It’s been a long day,” Liam offered as way of explanation, stubbing his cigarette out. Having Louis forcing his presence on him when Liam had been trying to get his feelings in order should have upset him, but there’d never been anything upsetting about Louis’s company, and even now Liam found himself soothed, the thoughts bumping around in his brain quietening down to a low hum.

“Yeah, it really has…” 

Louis rested his elbows on his bent knees, head hanging forward, and he looked so weary Liam couldn’t help but reach out with the hand that wasn’t holding his beer, gently taking hold of Louis’s shoulder and applying pressure on the base of his neck with his thumb. Louis audibly grunted and sagged forward even more before straightening up, arching into the touch. “Yes please,” he said, sighing.

Liam knew he was good at massages. He had big strong hands and a firm grip and he didn’t tire easily. But he’d always made sure to only ever touch Louis in the case of absolute pre-show emergencies, because Louis would go all soft and pliant and he’d make the most _awful_ noises that would haunt Liam for nights afterwards. Still, he was the one who’d instigated it, and Louis looked so, so tired. Liam put his untouched bottle to the side and wiped his hand on his jeans so it wouldn’t be icy cold against Louis’s skin before placing both hands around Louis’s neck, dragging his thumbs up the top of his spine. Louis seemed to melt under him, even though his shoulders were stiff with tension.

“God it’s just been a shitty week,” Louis said. “I mean, Freddie’s wonderful, don’t get me wrong, but just…”

“I know,” Liam said, slipping his fingers under Louis’s t-shirt, trying to ignore how warm his skin was.

“I just wish everything was simpler, y’know?”

He didn’t elaborate, and it didn’t feel like he was actually expecting an answer, so Liam didn’t say anything, focusing on massaging the knots away from Louis’s upper back as best he could with the t-shirt getting in the way, until Louis started making low sounds in the back of his throat and Liam had no choice but to take his hands away, afraid that his sweaty palms would betray him. Louis made a disappointed kind of whine, but leaned back against Liam’s chest and turned his head to press a quick kiss to Liam’s cheek. “Thanks,” he said, before straightening up again and taking a swig of his beer.

“So, um, has Danielle seen Freddie yet?” Liam asked, trying to get his heartbeat under control. He usually made a point of not bringing Louis’s girlfriends up, but his brain needed as many reminders as possible that kissing Louis would be a Very Bad Idea right now, and girlfriend-talk always did the trick.

Louis tensed. “Ah. Well, no. We’re not… We’re not together anymore,” he said, fiddling with the label of his bottle.

Well, fuck.

“I’m sorry,” Liam said, trying his best to sound sincere. He’d only met her once, at Louis’s New Year party, and she’d been lovely and kind and funny and had reminded Liam of Eleanor so much he had hated her instantly (and felt really guilty for it). He couldn’t believe they weren’t together anymore.

“Yeah, it wasn’t… It wasn’t ever going to be serious,” Louis continued, shrugging. “Kinda wished those paps hadn’t taken a shining to us. I wasn’t in a place where I wanted anything serious and she didn’t mind, so we… just had a good time and that was it. We’re still friends. Sent her a picture of the baby and everything.”

Liam did his best to ignore the absurd pang of jealousy at the idea that Danielle had gotten a proper picture and he hadn’t, nevermind that he had gotten to hold Freddie in his arms for the better part of an evening.

“It’s just, there’s no way I’m gonna just hook up with anyone now, is there?” Louis said, looking up at the starry sky as if it would give him the answers he was seeking. “I’ve got a baby to think of now.”

“Yeah,” Liam said, feeling his heart deflating, which made no sense at all. It wasn't like he was ever going to come clean, not like he’d ever get a chance.

“I mean,” Louis continued, leaning back against Liam’s chest, head resting against Liam’s shoulder, “It’s bad enough that me and Briana aren’t really together. A baby needs stability, people they can get properly attached to.”

“Yeah…”

“People like you,” Louis said, softly.

“Well I’m staying here for as long as you’ll have me,” Liam said, hoping his voice didn’t sound as strangled as he thought it did. “You’ll have to kick me out to get rid of me.”

“Was kinda hoping on that,” Louis murmured, his head lolling to the side so that his forehead was pressed against Liam’s jaw. 

Liam wasn’t sure he’d be able to speak around the lump in his throat, so he didn’t say anything more. He stared at the garden sprawling at their feet, half lost in the dark except for the patch dimly lit up by the light spilling from the inside; the night was filled with the soft indistinct noises of birds and bugs, and over all of it, soothing in a way that reminded Liam of long evenings as a kid spent lying in his bed listening to the adults having fun downstairs, the melody of conversation and laughter wafting from the open windows of the drawing room.

“I was really scared you wouldn't like him,” Louis whispered suddenly, pulling Liam out of his daze.

“... How could I ever not love him?!” Liam said, incredulous. “Tommo, he's perfect. He's just perfect.”

“Good…”

Louis rested more of his weight against Liam’s chest and Liam realized with a pang that he was falling asleep. 

“Maybe you should go get some sleep,” he said softly, even though he’d have been quite content to keep Louis in his arms for all eternity. First the baby, now this. Life just wasn’t playing fair.

“M’fine here,” Louis breathed, shifting so he could properly nuzzle his face against Liam’s neck. His shoulder and elbow were pressing quite uncomfortably against Liam’s torso but he’d take a lot more pain before he would put an end to it. He tentatively wrapped an arm around Louis’s back, hand curling around Louis’s bicep, his other hand clutching his beer bottle as if holding on for dear life.

“‘really wanted you here,” Louis whispered, sounding half gone already, and Liam gave up, putting his bottle back on the ground and wrapping both arms around Louis, letting himself pretend for a minute or two that this meant as much to Louis as it did for him.

They stayed like that for a while, Liam hardly daring to breathe, until baby cries rang from the upstairs bedroom and Louis sprung awake like a jack in the box, almost knocking Liam in the chin.

“I should go, Bri needs to sleep,” he mumbled, already getting up, but when they both stepped inside Liam's mum was already hurrying up the stairs.

“Oh don't deprive her of that pleasure, son,” Liam's dad said when he spotted them, his smile fond and slightly embarrassed.

Louis yawned, wide and loud, then stretched and turned back towards Liam. “I guess I'd better go catch some sleep then,” he said. He opened his mouth again as if to add something, but seemed to think better of it and instead hugged Liam with one arm, whispering one last “Thanks for coming so fast,” before turning away and disappearing up the stairs.

\--

Liam couldn’t sleep. It was 4am, but his brain kept insisting it was time for lunch, and the baby would start crying every couple hours, prompting endless footsteps in the hallway as one parent or the other came to check up on little Freddie.

He also couldn’t stop staring at the photos he’d taken of Louis holding his tiny son in his arms, looking so proud and tender and scared all at the same time. Part of him still could not believe the baby was actually there, was actually Louis's. It seemed so strange and so logical at the same time, because from the moment Liam had met him Louis had talked about having kids, but Eleanor had left taking with her the best part of Louis's heart and Liam had thought that was it, as far as the possibility of babies was concerned. He’d never dared ask Louis how he felt about his first child being born of a friendly one-night-stand; the subject had been almost as taboo among the band as it had been to the outside world, and the most they’d ever talked about it was when Louis had thanked Liam for taking a stand in the Attitude interview.

Baby cries tore through the night again, teeny but full of urgency, and Liam heard the door to Louis’s room open and Louis muttering something that sounded like “For the love of…” as he stumbled by Liam’s room. After a few minutes the cries subsided, and Liam waited to hear Louis’s footsteps coming back the other way, in vain.

He got up and opened his door as silently as he could, padding down the hallway in nothing but his pants, praying not to run into anyone. The door to the baby’s room was opened, but when Liam leaned inside, there was no one there. Liam made to turn around when something caught his eye, and he looked down.

Louis was sitting cross-legged on the floor, back propped against the wall, the baby cradled in his arms, half resting in his lap. Both of them were sound asleep, Freddie with his chubby cheek pressed against Louis’s naked belly, Louis with his chin almost resting against his sternum, shaggy hair hanging in front of his closed eyes.

Liam didn’t quite know how his heart could still clench when by now it must have already shrivelled to the size of a peach pit, but clench it did, and he only realized he’d taken a picture when the flash lit up father and son, making him almost drop his phone in surprise and fear that it would wake them up. Still, he wanted to save every second of this. The mere thought of having to leave and missing any of it made him sick to his stomach, no matter how ridiculous he knew he was being.

He crouched down and stroked the baby’s cheek with one finger, before gently shaking Louis’s shoulder.

“Lou. Lou, wake up.”

Louis huffed in his sleep, then his head jerked up, eyes wide. “What’s going on? Is Freddie okay?!” he asked, voice loud in the silence of the house, before he looked down and saw the baby in his arms. “Oh,” he said, much more softly. “Must have fallen asleep…”

“Yeah, you did. C’mon, let’s get you both to bed,” Liam whispered, very gently taking the baby from Louis’s arms. Freddie whimpered in his sleep, little fists flailing, but did not open his eyes. Liam laid him down in his cot as cautiously as if he was handling a bomb, heart hammering in his chest, then turned back to Louis, who was still on the floor, looking up at Liam bleary-eyed.

“C’mon, up you go,” Liam said, reaching down to get a hold of Louis’s hands. Louis was like a dead weight as Liam pulled him up to his feet, slumping against Liam’s chest immediately. There was way too much naked skin touching for Liam to remember how to breathe, and he could only hope Louis was too out of it to notice how strangled his voice was when he spoke again. “D’you want me to carry you to bed?” he asked, trying his best to sound teasing when the mental image was enough to make him weak in the knees. 

Louis snorted against his chest, then stood up a little straighter, leaning away. “Nah, that won’t be necessary,” he said, before yawning widely.

“Alright,” Liam said, berating himself for being disappointed. “I’ll just go back to bed then.” He made it to the hallway before Louis’s voice pulled him back.

“You could still come to bed with me.”

Liam stopped dead in his tracks and turned back towards the door. Louis was leaning against the door frame, half-naked and half-asleep and so, so soft. He knew the wording meant nothing, that Louis was too tired to think much about what he was saying. He knew he’d be better off going back to his own room and trying to get some sleep before the sun was up. But Louis was staring at him with those damn blue eyes of his in a way that made it completely impossible to refuse him anything.

Louis let himself be guided back to his bedroom and crawled into his bed without a word, lying on his side with his back turned to Liam, who stood frozen in place, unable to decide whether to lie down or to walk away. Louis was probably asleep already. He’d never notice that Liam hadn’t-

Louis sighed, way too loudly for it to be natural, and raised the covers off the bed in a silent but nevertheless very clear ‘come the fuck to bed, Payno’ gesture, and Liam’s choice was made for him.

He climbed into bed cautiously, vividly aware of his and Louis's state of undress. He could feel the warmth of Louis's body even though they weren't touching, and it was all he could do not to reach out and spread his hands over the expanse of Louis's back.

“You're supposed to be the big spoon,” Louis grumbled in the tone of the long-suffering, reaching backwards in search of something to grab onto. His hand made contact with Liam’s arm and tugged him forward until Liam had no choice but to scoot closer, his arm forcibly wrapped around Louis’s waist. Louis sighed and pushed back so they were pressed chest to back, Liam’s nose buried into Louis’s slightly dirty hair. Louis’s hand was holding Liam’s palm flat against his naked belly and Liam tried to focus on the feel of it gently rising and falling with each of Louis’s breaths, instead of the press of Louis’s arse against his crotch. His other arm was awkwardly curled under his head in a position that would no doubt see it falling asleep in two minutes flat, but he didn’t dare shift an inch.

He’d just managed to get his breathing and his heartbeat under control when Louis suddenly grunted and squirmed around till he was facing him, wordlessly slipping one leg between Liam’s and burying his face in the curve of Liam’s neck, one arm wrapping itself around Liam’s back to keep him close and the other curling on the pillows over both their heads, hand loosely coming to rest above Liam’s, fingertips grazing against his knuckles. Liam could feel the soft puff of Louis’s breathing against his neck and Louis’s fingers twitching on his lower back as Louis finally fell asleep, and it was all he could do to bite off the ‘Come the fuck _on_!’ that was burning on his tongue.

Liam didn’t know what he had done in a previous life to deserve such torture, but it must have been truly despicable if this was the payback.

\--

He woke up to the sound of Freddie crying. A sliver of sunshine slithered through the thick brown curtains, but his phone informed him the time was only 6.50, which felt unnaturally early. It took a few seconds for him to register Louis’s body sprawled out next to him, arms curled over his head and legs spread wide like Louis hadn’t a care in the world, which was so far from the truth it made Liam’s heart ache a little. The rest of him heated up at the sight of Louis’s pecs and abs and his striped pants riding dangerously low on his hips, and it was so stupid to get turned on by something he had seen a thousand times before, but it never failed to get to him.

He wanted to reach out and stroke his hand over Louis’s belly, wanted to curl up close and press his nose against the curve of Louis’s neck and breathe him in, all sweaty and warm from sleep.

The baby was still crying.

It was pretty clear Louis was too out of it for even his son’s cries to break through to him, and Liam carefully got out of bed, slipping some sweatpants on and sneaking out of Louis’s bedroom. The house was silent but for Freddie’s pitiful screams, and Liam hurried to his room, hoping he could get him to calm down before anybody else woke up; Briana was probably just as tired as Louis was, if not more. Liam had never realized just how tiring newborns could be; from the outside looking in, they’d seemed to be asleep most of the time.

Freddie was wriggling in his cot, face a worrying shade of red, little feet kicking at the confines of his sleeping sack. He looked so upset that Liam didn’t even second-guess himself before scooping him up, one hand carefully holding his head because if there was only one thing Liam remembered about babies, it was the head-thing. He cradled him in one arm, his other hand gently coming to rest on the baby’s belly, feeling it shake.

“Hey there lil’ buddy,” Liam murmured, feeling a little foolish and a lot fond. “Why are you so sad? Your mum and dad are right next door, you’re not alone.”

Freddie seemed impervious to Liam’s logic and only cried harder, his little face all scrunched up, and Liam tentatively bounced his arms from side to side, then walked around the room. He was starting to get seriously worried about somebody else coming to see what was going on when Freddie’s crying finally subsided, and the baby looked up at him with the saddest pout Liam had ever seen, like he was only giving Liam one chance before he got upset again.

“We haven't properly met,” Liam told him, because he'd been too self-conscious to talk to the baby with other people around. “I'm your uncle Liam. Well, I'm not really your uncle, but your daddy's my best friend in the entire world and I always thought if I ever had kids they'd call him uncle so I hope he won't mind.” He stopped talking, flustered, but Freddie was just blinking up at him, looking a little less sad. “Your dad's really happy to have you,” he said; “Don't ever listen to what other people might say, alright? He loves you very very much.” He knew Freddie couldn't understand him, hell Liam was probably just a pink blotch to him, but he'd seen the posts on Twitter and while he hadn't wanted to add to Louis's load by bringing the subject up, he knew he'd end up going crazy if he didn't tell _someone_ about it, even if it was a newborn baby.

He didn't say anything more for a while, gently swinging his arms from side to side, thinking about what Louis had had to go through for the past nine months, holding Freddie a little tighter as if that'd be enough to shield him from all the negativity.

As if he could read Liam's thoughts, Freddie hiccuped his way into another crying fit and Liam snapped back to the present. “Oh no no no, don't cry! I'll… I'll sing you a song, how about that?” Liam urged, racking his brain in search of a lullaby and coming up empty-handed. The only thing he could think of was…

“I want to write you a song,” he started, desperately bouncing Freddie in his arms, sure that the entire house was going to come see who was mistreating the baby so. “One as beautiful as you are sweet. With just a hint of pain for the feeling that I get when you are gone…”

Freddie’s crying subsided slightly during the chorus, and when Liam finally dared a glance behind him to see if someone had come to take the baby away from his incompetent fake-uncle’s hands, Louis was standing stock-still by the door with a look on his face that Liam didn't know how to decipher but which somehow made him feel exposed in a way that even the most intrusive interview never had.

“I tried to calm him down,” he stammered as Freddie resumed crying in earnest, as if he needed to justify his presence in the baby's room.

Louis didn't say anything. His eyes kept going from Freddie to Liam and Liam didn't know what to do with himself, frozen on the spot with the baby crying.

Briana came in the room then, rubbing her eyes, her hair a mess but her expression soft. She walked to Liam and gently took the baby from his unresponsive arms, pecking him on the cheek. “Thanks for looking after him,” she said, curling a finger and gently pressing her knuckle against Freddie’s mouth. The cries stopped abruptly as Freddie tried to suck on it. “Yeah, I thought he'd be hungry.”

Liam expected her to ask them to leave, but she took one look at Louis, retrieved a Tigger bib from the rocking chair next to the window, and left the room, softly closing the door behind her.

Louis still hadn't moved, and Liam was starting to freak out.

“Lou-”

“You didn’t ask me,” Louis finally said, voice strangled.

Liam blinked. “... Ask you what?” he said, half-worried that Louis meant he should have asked permission to pick Freddie up.

“About the name,” Louis said, taking a step forward, then another. “You didn’t ask me.”

Liam’s skin broke out in goosebumps. Louis took another step forward. 

Liam had never been a coward, but his next question was the bravest he'd ever made himself be. “... Why did you want to call him James?”

Louis didn’t reply, but surged up and pressed his lips against Liam’s, one hand coming up to rest against the back of Liam’s neck. It was a desperate kiss, more bruising than anything else, with Louis’s eyes tightly shut as if he was trying to block the memory even as it was happening. His fingers tightened around the back of Liam’s neck as he rose on tiptoes, the press of his lips so strong Liam couldn’t have kissed back even if he had tried to.

Finally Louis sprung back with a gasp, letting his hand drop back to his side. His eyes were opened now, darting back and forth between Liam’s eyes and his lips, wide and afraid. He took a step backwards and Liam acted on reflex, gripping Louis’s bicep to keep him in place as he leaned down to kiss him. 

He tried to be as gentle as Louis had been brusque, which probably didn’t amount to much considering how desperate he felt. His brain hadn’t even gotten time to process the fact that Louis had kissed him and here they were kissing again, Louis’s lips parting in a gasp against his before Louis tentatively kissed back.

It was everything he'd ever hoped it would be and completely different all at the same time. He'd never actually kissed another man, had never fancied another man the way he fancied Louis (he'd watched some gay porn but there always seemed to be something missing, and while he'd always thought Harry was hot, he was pretty sure that was just common sense), and the feel of stubble against his mouth was completely foreign and a little unsettling, although the softness of Louis's lips more than made up for it.

Louis leaned back way too soon and Liam found himself chasing his mouth for another kiss before straightening up, feeling winded and flushed.

“I'm sorry,” Louis said, turning away and running his hands through his hair. “I just… I saw you and... Wait,” he said, slowly turning back to Liam, “did you just kiss me back?”

Liam wasn't sure how there could be any doubt about it, but he still nodded, clenching his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants to refrain from reaching out to tug Louis back into kissing distance.

“Yeah,” he said, watching as Louis's face seemed to go through ten different emotions all at once. “Yeah, I did.” And then, because Louis had kissed him and had wanted to call his baby James and it didn't seem like Liam had much to lose anymore: “I'll do it again, if you let me.”

“Okay,” Louis said before Liam was even finished, stepping forward once again. It was starting to look like they were dancing, one step forward and two steps back, which Liam thought was pretty ironic. They'd always been crap at anything that demanded actual coordination, but this, this Liam knew how to do, and he slipped an arm around Louis's naked back as he pressed him closer, tilting his head down to capture Louis's lips in a kiss.

He pecked Louis's lips once, twice, then stayed there, waiting for Louis to take his cue. When Louis finally did kiss him back, it was with a care very unlike himself, one hand coming up to cling to Liam's arm as Louis gently answered Liam's kisses with featherlight touches of his lips. The slowness of it all was making Liam crazy but he didn’t dare push further, didn’t know where Louis stood with this, if it was only a spur of the moment thing or something he'd thought of before. Still, sucking on Louis’s bottom lip was way too tempting to be resisted for long, and while it got him a very satisfactory moan from Louis, he also broke free, twisting away as if burnt.

“Fuck,” Louis whispered, back to raking his fingers through his hair, looking at the ground and the door and the window but never at Liam. “Fuck.”

Liam felt his stomach drop. For a second he’d thought… And then he remembered what Louis had said, about why he’d broken up with Danielle. “Right,” he said, feeling like an arse. “You said you didn't want to… to start anything with anyone… Sorry.”

“You're not anyone,” Louis scoffed, finally looking directly at Liam. “You're so far from being anyone it's a bit scary, really.” Then somehow he was kissing Liam again, hand clenched on Liam’s jaw, as if to prove a point.

The kiss was over before Liam could respond to it, but this time Louis didn’t move away, stroking Liam’s beard with his thumb. He looked intimidatingly serious, even though Liam could have sworn his cheeks were heating up. “I just didn't think you were an option.”

“Well I am,” Liam said in a daze, moving his shaking hands to Louis’s hips, forefinger and thumb stroking the soft skin above his pants. “I am an option,” he said again, nodding emphatically.

“Yeah, I realize that now,” Louis said with a little dazed smile before bridging the distance between their mouths again.

There was no hesitation and no anger in that kiss, and as the seconds slowly ticked by and Liam became more familiar with the feel of Louis's lips against his, things started to feel a little more real, which was somehow both a blessing and a curse. There'd be no turning back from this. Whatever happened, Liam wouldn't be able to forget the touch of Louis's mouth or the feel of Louis's hands trying to clutch at his buzzcut, clearly seeking hair that was no longer there.

When Louis bit at his lip, stroking the abused flesh with the tip of his tongue, Liam stopped holding back. They stumbled backwards, Louis hitting the nearest wall with a grunt and deepening the kiss straight afterwards, slipping his tongue into Liam's mouth with as much brashness as Liam would have expected from him. And still Liam wanted more, wanted whatever he could get, wanted everything.

“Okay, we need to stop,” Louis mumbled against Liam’s lips, before kissing him again. Liam slid one hand down to Louis’s arse, satisfied with the moan that got him. “Liam, we need to stop,” Louis gasped out, leaning his head back against the wall.

“No,” Liam said simply, trailing his lips down to Louis’s neck. Louis gave a breathless chuckle, half-heartedly pushing at Liam’s shoulder.

“Fuck, stop, that tickles!” he gasped, trying to wriggle away. Liam stopped then, leaning back just enough to look into Louis's eyes; he wanted all he could get but he would not take anything Louis wasn't prepared to give.

“I'm sorry, I can't do that here,” Louis said, briefly catching Liam's lips in another kiss, which was mixing the signals up quite badly, Liam thought. “Not with… Not with Freddie right next door.”

Right, the baby. Liam suddenly felt like a pervert. He'd been so stunned at being kissed that the baby had all but flown away from his mind. He took a step back, trying not to stare at Louis's lips; they were already a bit swollen and Liam wanted nothing more than to nibble on them, but he could wait. Hoping it'd still be an option later on.

“I should go check up on them,” Louis said, hitching his pants back up and surreptitiously readjusting himself, and Liam thought all things considered he was really demonstrating a will of iron by not pushing Louis back against the wall then and there. “We'll talk later, yeah?” Louis asked, turning towards the door. 

These weren't exactly the words Liam had been hoping to hear, because ‘we need to talk’ so rarely led to anything good, but the way Louis darted back to press a kiss to Liam's lips, eyes bright and keen, made something warm settle in Liam's stomach.

‘Later’ could not come fast enough.

\--

In the end, Liam had been in his room for barely more than 15 minutes when Louis slipped inside without a word, leaning back against the door as he softly closed it and looking at Liam with eyes so intent they seemed to burn. Liam had been sitting on his bed, contemplating writing to Niall to ask him for advice because somehow it felt like Niall would not be surprised, would not judge or freak out. On the other hand, his advice would then probably be something like ‘just go for it then, what’s the worst that could happen?’, which wouldn’t be helpful at all.

He realized Louis still hadn’t moved, and cleared his throat. “Everything alright?”

“Uh?” Louis asked in a daze, before shaking himself. “Yeah. Your mum got up, she’ll take care of Freddie after Bri’s done feeding him so she can get some more sleep.”

“Finally her waking up at 7am every day serves a purpose,” Liam said, feeling a bit bad for making fun of his mother and also feeling really happy that he saw her enough to want to make fun of her.

Louis grinned, but did not move from the door.

“You gonna come over?” Liam asked.

“In a minute.” 

Louis was still staring at him, and Liam finally looked away, feeling more bashful than he had in years. Being the focus of Louis’s attention had always been intense, but now that he knew Louis was on the same wavelength it felt like being naked under the desert sun. Before, he would have wondered if Louis was preparing a prank of some sort. Now he couldn’t help but wonder if Louis was thinking about kissing him again, or maybe more, and it should have been nicer than preparing yourself to be doused with ketchup or hit in the head with a One Direction inflatable chair, but Liam knew how to deal with ketchup and random flying objects. He really, really did not know how to deal with Louis’s lips on his.

There was movement in the corner of his eye and when he looked back Louis was standing in front of him, already bending down to peck him on the lips, once, twice, then a third time, pressing his mouth against Liam’s a bit longer that time, long enough for Liam to kiss back, gently tugging on Louis’s bottom lip.

“Sorry,” Louis said against Liam’s lips, smiling. “Just wanted to check that I really could do it now.”

Liam was all for checking that, and would have quite willingly checked it a bit further, but Louis sat down on the bed next to him instead, leaning his arms on his knees. He was still only wearing his pants, which Liam thought was totally unfair to him. But he also looked weary, and no matter how badly Liam wanted to make out, he wasn’t about to turn a blind eye to Louis’s problems.

“Hey, I… I stopped a bit fast, earlier,” he said, carefully keeping his voice neutral. “If you want I could give you another massage? A proper one, this time,” he added out of fairness.

Louis threw him an odd little sideway glance, but nodded. “That’d be amazing.”

They rearranged themselves on the bed so Liam was sitting with his back to the headboard and Louis was settled between his legs, his own legs bent enough that he could lean his elbows on his knees and his forehead on his arms. Liam looked at the expense of his back for a few seconds before laying his hands on Louis’s shoulders, gently dragging them down the length of his back, pressing down with the balls of his hands, before going back up, pushing with his fingertips. Louis sighed, a long, drawn-out breath that seemed to be coming from deep inside. Liam wanted to make all the pain and the stress and the exhaustion go away, but he’d settle for making Louis feel slightly better for a few minutes. His hands went back down again, thumbs rubbing slow circles on either side of Louis’s spine, fingertips spread out.

“I just wish this fucking circus was over,” Louis said, forehead still resting against his folded arms, voice bitter. “I knew some of them thought…” He trailed off, apparently unwilling to say it outloud, then started again, “But this? This is… I just don’t know what to do.”

Liam pressed his hands to Louis’s lower back, feeling his heart speed up slightly at the shiver that coursed under Louis’s skin. “I’m not sure there’s anything you _can_ do,” he murmured, feeling useless. He wasn’t the person Louis should be talking to. He’d always been rubbish at this kind of stuff. Harry would probably be much more suited for this conversation.

“Mum keeps telling me to post a picture of Freddie. She says it’ll shut up the naysayers and it’ll make all the other fans happy, but… I’d sworn to myself I wouldn’t post pictures of him anywhere public,” Louis continued, straightening up and leaning back into Liam’s touch. Liam’s hands crawled back all the way up to Louis’s neck and into his hair, gently massaging his head. “Fuck, that’s good,” Louis whispered, voice soft. Liam couldn’t help the tinge of pride at the praise.

“Maybe your mum’s right,” he said, because it felt like he ought to at least try and give some advice. “If people see you holding Freddie, they won’t be able to say this is not real anymore.” 

Louis’s hair was soft under his fingers, so much longer than the last time he’d gotten his hands into it. Louis was turning into a rag doll in his arms, which was the best result Liam could have asked for.

“Maybe…” Louis said after a while, once Liam had reverted to massaging his neck with firm fingers. “Just everything sounds so complicated these days… and I’m so fucking tired…”

Liam smiled, spreading his hands over Louis’s shoulder blades, working on the knots he found there. “Who’d have thought you’d find something even more exhausting than touring, uh?”

Louis chuckled, leaning ever-so-slightly backwards so they were almost pressed chest to back once again. Now Louis was so close Liam could smell the heat from his neck, the remnants of gel in his hair. His heartbeat picked up again, but he focused his attention on his hands, trailing them down Louis’s upper arms.

“Remember when Julian would wake us up at 3 in the morning just so we could record a bridge?” Louis asked, sighing as Liam gently pressed his thumbs on the inside of his elbows.

“Hard to forget,” Liam said, trailing his fingers back up, tracing the antlers of Louis’s deer and his heartbeat. He remembered signing his name inside Louis’s heart during one of the OTRA shows, how giddy he’d been at the implications even though he knew full well at the time that it meant nothing. He’d spent the rest of the evening staring at Louis’s arm whenever he could get away with it. And he also remembered the warmth that had spread in his belly when he’d realized, the next morning, that Louis hadn’t scrubbed it off, still displaying it proudly by wearing another tank top to breakfast.

“Well every time Freddie wakes me up crying I swear to god my first reflex is to want to bash Julian in the head with a pillow,” Louis continued, oblivious to Liam’s sappy trip down memory lane.

Liam chuckled, starting work on Louis’s shoulders again, liking how much more relaxed Louis was under his hands, almost all the knots gone. Louis didn’t say anything more, tipping his head back, his hair brushing against Liam’s shoulder. Soon enough he started making the soft noises that would usually have had Liam stopping for fear of going too far, of showing too much.

He didn’t stop now, trailing his hands back down along Louis’s spine, pressing his thumbs in large circles over Louis’s lower back, going a little further down every time, fingertips brushing against the waistband of Louis’s pants. He tipped his head down, mouth ghosting over Louis’s neck, torn between the urge to kiss it and the worry that Louis might still consider this too much with the baby so close. The more ragged Louis’s breathing got, the more desperate Liam grew.

“Liam…”

Liam knew Louis probably meant it as a warning but it only spurred him on and he finally pressed his lips against the curve of Louis’s neck, relishing the way Louis shivered at the touch. And once he’d started, he couldn’t stop. He sprinkled kisses from the back of Louis’s ear down to his shoulder and back, drunk on the feel of Louis’s soft skin and the breathless gasps Louis kept making; he sneaked the tip of his tongue out for a taste and that only made him more desperate, chasing the faint saltiness of Louis’s sweat down to his shoulder blade, teeth nipping at the flesh whenever they could as Louis’s skin broke out in goosebumps and he stifled a moan.

He knew he should stop, knew he wasn’t being fair to Louis, but he’d been dreaming of doing exactly this for so long and Louis was so clearly enjoying it, hands sneaking to Liam’s lower back to press him closer, and Liam was frantic with want, hands shaking against Louis’s skin, cock already half hard in his sweatpants, and the fact that for once he did not have to pull back, to make sure Louis would not feel it, left him light-headed.

“Don’t stop,” Louis gasped, the exact opposite of what Liam had been expecting. “Your hands, don’t stop…”

Liam had left his hands on Louis's hips, too focused on kissing every inch of skin he could reach to remember about his massage anymore. He moved them again, dragging his fingers up along Louis's sides while he sucked on Louis's neck, and the full body twitch Louis gave got Liam to full hardness. He didn't know how much he was allowed to take but every new touch of Louis's body, every new reaction felt like a rush to the head.

He wrapped his left hand over Louis's shoulder and sneaked the other hand around to Louis's chest, twisting his nipple at the exact same time he nipped at his neck.

“ _Fuck_!” Louis cried out, arching back into the touch. “You’re not… playing fair…”

“I know,” Liam said, pressing open-mouthed kisses to Louis’s jaw. “‘m really sorry,” he mumbled against Louis’s skin, stroking his thumb back and forth over Louis’s nipple, relishing the high-pitched whines it got him.

“Like hell you are,” Louis snarled, reaching back to try and grab at Liam’s hair, in vain. “Shit, I really wish you hadn’t cut your hair.”

“Sorry,” Liam said, even though he really liked the buzzcut.

“Don’t be. You look bloody amazing,” Louis said, moving his hand to Liam’s arse, grabbing at the fabric of his sweatpants. He pushed Liam forward so that Liam's hard-on ended up flush against the curve of Louis's arse, and Liam couldn't help the moan that was torn out from him, hand gripping Louis's shoulder so hard he would not be surprised if Louis got bruises from it.

Louis’s arse had been a thorn in Liam’s side for years, a constant tease that often left Liam in agony over how much he wanted to put his hands on it. That arse had been single-handedly responsible for more concert slip-ups than Liam cared to think about. And the feel of it against his cock was just as fantastic as Liam had always thought it would be, if not more.

Louis hissed, from pain or from arousal, Liam wasn’t sure, and pushed his arse back against Liam, his hands pushing Liam forward again. Trust Louis to make you think you had the upper hand only to turn you into a sobbing mess the second you let your guard down, Liam thought, stifling his desperate moan against Louis's shoulder.

“Fuck, you're so hard,” Louis breathed, sounding awestruck. A couple of hours earlier, on the patio steps, Liam would have been mortified beyond words. Now, he only pressed his feet in the mattress for leverage as he shoved his hips forward again, eager to let Louis feel exactly just how desperate he was making him. His life had been turned upside down in the space of an hour and Liam felt dizzy from it all, but he wouldn't have gotten down from that ride for the world.

“Fuck,” Louis said again, as Liam trailed his lips back up to Louis’s ear, closing his teeth around Louis’s earlobe and tugging, his thumb still teasing at Louis’s nipple. “Do that again.”

Liam didn’t know what exactly Louis wanted him to replay, so he did it all, groaning against Louis’s ear as Louis’s hands clenched on his arse.

Louis chuckled then, breathless. “What the fuck are we doing?” he asked, but the way he leaned forward so that Liam had more arse to grind against made it pretty clear he wasn't thinking of stopping.

“Dunno,” Liam mumbled against Louis's skin, sprinkling kisses down Louis's spine as Louis leaned ever forward until he was bracing himself with his hands between his knees, arms straining as he moved back against Liam, meeting him thrust for thrust. It was insane and reckless but Liam couldn't make himself stop. He'd known Louis so long and so intimately that he couldn't help but want more straightaway. Making out felt meaningless when they'd already spent entire evenings curled up together on couches and beds, fingers stroking at each other's hair and arms, pressing lazy kisses against each other's temples and cheeks in quiet reassurance of their affection.

He was getting closer with every movement of their hips, until he finally stopped all pretense, moving his hands to Louis's hips and gripping them to keep Louis in place as he found a rhythm, mouth opened against Louis's spine, gasping. Every one of Louis's moans only made him harder, more desperate; he wanted to push Louis on his stomach and lie on him to properly grind down, and he was so glad Louis couldn't read his mind because even the shame wasn't enough to make him stop. The cotton of his pants was starting to chafe, but he was close, so close, he just needed a little more and-

“Are you close, Payno?” Louis asked, pushing back until they were both sitting up again. The pressure against his cock wasn't as good, but Louis's body pressed flush against his felt amazing, and Liam could only gasp in reply, teeth closing around the flesh of Louis's shoulder. 

Louis keened. “Are you gonna come in your pants?” he asked, and Liam felt his cheeks burn from shame under the flush of arousal, but he breathed out a “Yes… yes!” against Louis's neck, sprinkling kisses from the hollow of his shoulder to the curve of his jaw.

“Well go on then. Go on,” Louis said, craning his neck and capturing Liam's lips in a messy open-mouthed kiss. The angle was wrong and their teeth kept clicking but it was exactly what Liam had been missing and he moaned around Louis’s tongue as he came, rutting against Louis's arse once, twice, three times, a hot wet flash of come staining his pants and coating his dick.

It was disgusting, and humiliating, and possibly the hottest thing Liam had ever experienced. He leaned his forehead against Louis’s shoulder as he desperately tried to gulp down some air, feeling beads of sweat sliding down his back and his stomach and the back of his knees, the heat in his pants quickly turning cold and clammy. He slid his hands from Louis’s hips to his belly until his arms were firmly wrapped around Louis’s waist, keeping him in place as if it would help Liam’s heartbeat slow down to a life-sustaining rhythm.

“You alright?” Louis softly asked after what felt like forever, one hand stroking Liam’s forearm, fingertips tracing the roses on his hand.

“Yeah…” Liam said, pressing a kiss to Louis’s shoulder blade. “I’m sorry.”

Louis huffed. “What in heavens are you sorry for?”

“This. I know you didn’t… you didn’t want to do anything with Freddie in the house.”

Louis gently pried Liam’s arms away from his waist and rearranged himself so he was kneeling between Liam’s legs, facing him. Deprived of anything to lean on, Liam let himself fall back against the wall, not sure he’d be able to sit straight on his own right then. Louis rolled his eyes and leaned forward, gently biting on Liam's lower lip before pressing a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“Do you have _any idea_ how hot this was?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. Liam shrugged, still busy trying to catch his breath. “God you're an idiot,” Louis murmured, but since he followed it up by kissing Liam again, long and slow, Liam decided not to hold a grudge. Louis took his time, in turn deepening the kiss and going back to soft touches of his lips, with a focus that implied he was cataloging it all even as it happened. His hands kept coming back to Liam's hair and face and Liam finally got enough strength back to move his own hands to Louis's waist, sliding them down and forward-

“Don't,” Louis gasped, leaning away. His cheeks were flushed, his lips swollen, and he didn't make any sense.

“Why-”

“Told you, not with Freddie next door,” Louis said, pressing another quick kiss to Liam's lips.

“But… you just got me off,” Liam said, trailing his hands up Louis's back, liking the shiver he felt under his fingertips.

“Technically I didn’t touch your dick,” Louis said, his eyes fluttering shut for a second as Liam's fingers crept up into his hair.

“D’you think the baby cares about technicalities?”

“Shut up. I know the baby doesn’t care about anything,” Louis scoffed before kissing Liam again. “ _I_ care.”

“Aren’t you hard, though?” Liam asked, starting to wonder if this wasn’t Louis’s way of letting him down gently.

Louis huffed. “Have you even _looked_ down?”

Liam did, then, and if you had told him a few years back that seeing a patch of wet fabric on his bandmate’s pants where his cock was leaking precome would make his mouth water, he’d probably have looked at you like you were insane. As it were it was all he could do not to reach out and press his fingertips to the damp patch and down the line of Louis’s cock.

“Okay stop looking down,” Louis said in a rush before pressing his lips to Liam’s again as if to shut him up, even though Liam hadn’t been talking at all. He could feel the desperation radiating out of Louis in waves, in the way Louis gripped at Liam’s upper arms, in his relentless suction on Liam’s tongue.

Liam broke away, panting against Louis’s open mouth. “Doesn’t seem fair. I came, and you-”

“Almost came just from that. Don’t worry about me, I got my share,” Louis interrupted, pressing a kiss to Liam’s lips. “Just… just ignore it,” he said, moving to straddle Liam’s lap, bending over him, hair falling into Liam’s eyes. Louis’s breath was hot against Liam’s mouth and Liam craned his neck up to kiss him, hands coming to grab at his hips, trying to push Louis down against him.

He hadn't thought having Louis towering over him would be a turn-on, but quickly had to reassess as Louis broke the kiss, looking down at him through his fringe, eyes dark and bright. He was pretty sure Louis was just as turned on at the height reversal as he was.

“What would… what would you do, though, if you could? Touch me, I mean,” Louis suddenly asked, the words rushing out as if against his will, voice raw.

“Reckon I’d get my hand on it, been wanting to since you kissed me,” Liam said, dragging his fingers down to Louis’s belly, his knuckles grazing the clothed tip of Louis’s cock but not quite touching it. He felt Louis’s muscles tense up under his hand as Louis breathed in sharply, one hand grabbing Liam’s wrist and holding it there as if Louis didn’t know whether to push his hand down or pull it away.

“Yeah?” Louis’s voice was barely more than a whisper but his eyes were boring into Liam’s like laser beams.

“Yeah. Although…” Liam hesitated, but when he looked down again the words came out on their own; “I think… I think I’d quite like to blow you, too.”

Louis’s hand clenched around Liam’s wrist hard enough to hurt and Louis muffled a whimper against Liam’s shoulder, eyes squeezed shut in what looked like agony. Liam wanted to taste him so badly he had to bite on his lip to keep himself from pulling Louis’s pants off. “I’d just really like to at least take a lick, y’know?” he said, not quite realizing he was speaking out loud, eyes fixed on Louis’s pants. He could see Louis’s cock twitching every time he spoke, and he dimly wondered if it might be possible to get Louis to come through talking alone. The thought made his skin burn.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Louis gasped out, wrenching his mouth away from Liam’s shoulder. “Kiss me kiss me kiss me,” he begged, eyes wild and unfocused, his hand finally letting go of Liam’s wrist to grab at the back of his head as he crushed their lips together. Liam could feel him kneeling up slightly, grinding against thin air less than an inch away from Liam’s body, and he snapped. Not breaking the kiss, he grabbed Louis’s arse with both hands and pushed him down against his crotch, rising up to meet him. He was nowhere near hard but feeling the hard line of Louis’s cock against his own made him wish he could be already. He swallowed Louis’s startled moan greedily, keeping him in place, unmoving, just relishing the feel of it, of Louis’s chest pressed against his, his arms wrapped around Liam’s neck.

But then Louis rolled away from him, lying on his back and gasping at the ceiling, a picture of debauchery with his sweaty skin, his swollen lips, the red rashes everywhere Liam’s stubble had been brushing as he kissed his skin, his fucked up hair and, straining at the confines of Louis’s pants, his cock, standing proud and tall and so, so enticing.

“Lou, are you sure you don’t want me to-”

“ _Yes_ ,” Louis snapped, gripping at the bed sheets, his entire body seemingly straining against the urge to just reach down and take himself in hand. Liam wanted to reach out so badly his hands were shaking with it.

“Then maybe you should… I mean, I don’t think it’s gonna go away on its own.”

“Yeah, okay, I'll go… I'll go do that,” Louis stammered, rolling off the bed and rising on unsteady legs. He glanced back at Liam, then his head snapped back to look straight ahead and he half-ran to the bathroom, nearly slamming the door behind him.

Liam got rid of his clothes and cleaned himself up as best he could with tissues, then put on some clean pants and sat back on the bed, ears straining but unable to hear anything. He wanted to get up and go press his ear to the bathroom door. He wanted to go inside and sit on the bathtub and look at Louis, standing over the loo, one hand braced on the wall, wanking himself fast and desperate, face flushed from arousal, eyes shut in concentration. He could see it all so clearly in his mind but it wasn’t enough, and he felt an irrational jealousy that was only made more bitter by the fact he couldn’t direct it at anyone.

When Louis came back out, ten minutes later, looking lax and soft and so thoroughly spent, Liam reached out for him instantly, trailing his hands up Louis’s torso and down his back as if he hadn’t gotten to touch him in years, kissing the laughter from Louis’s mouth as he climbed back on the bed, laying down on his side beside Liam.

“We'll have to do this again,” Liam said when he finally broke the kiss, Louis soft and warm in his arms, looking more relaxed than he’d seen him since he’d gotten to L.A.

“What, me wanking off with you outs-”

“No, you holding off.”

He could have sworn Louis’s eyes turned a shade darker, but Louis didn’t say anything, only scooting closer, pressing his forehead against Liam’s chest. He seemed to fall asleep instantly, the arm he had wrapped around Liam’s back flopping down to the mattress, his breathing soft and regular against Liam’s skin.

Liam stared at the top of Louis's hair for a long time, trying to process everything that had happened, but his brain boggled with the enormity of it all. He'd spent years harboring an unrequited crush on Louis, a crush that only grew into something even more unshakable as Louis became his best friend. They'd both gone through genuine relationships and Liam had been planning on making a life with Sophia before the pressure got to be too much for them both, but through it all he'd still caught himself staring at Louis in a way that had nothing to do with friendly admiration and everything to do with a healthy mix of love and lust. And now he'd finally gotten to feel Louis coming undone under his hands, had nothing to hide anymore, and he felt like the room was spinning, his mind vibrating with the possibilities taking shape before his very eyes.

After a while, he let his eyes fall shut, soothed by the warm press of Louis’s body against his. Whatever they had started tonight _was_ crazy and reckless, but it was something he'd do with Louis, and that had always turned out okay.

\--

The days went by in a daze, a whirlwind of nappies, doctor’s appointments, visiting family members and waking up at all hours of the night, stumbling to Freddie’s room to check up on him and carry him to a sleepy Briana when his tiny but powerful lungs made it abundantly clear nothing but his mother’s milk would make him quiet down. A couple of days of that regimen were enough for Liam to start looking harassed, but he wouldn't have exchanged any of it for the world. He still hadn't gotten tired of watching Freddie sleep, or cry, or smile in that unconscious way that made Liam feel like the most special person in the world when it was aimed in his direction. And he didn't think he'd ever get tired of watching Louis taking care of his son, blowing tiny raspberries on Freddie’s belly when he changed his nappy or cradling him against his chest as they watched football matches, Freddie’s tiny hands clenching around the soft fabric of Louis's hoodie as he slept, warm and safe against his father's chest, Louis’s hand laid protectively over his back.

Louis did post a couple pictures online in the end. They put a few to the vote of both families, including two black and white photos Liam had taken early one morning when he and Louis were the only ones awake in the house, Louis standing barechested with Freddie nestled against him, Louis’s thumb stroking Freddie’s fist. Louis wasn’t smiling on the pictures, although his look of exhausted solemnity screamed ‘new father’ much more effectively, Liam thought. A third snap did show Louis with soft eyes and a tender smile, but he’d been looking at Liam on that one and they didn’t want people to wonder who had taken the picture.

Louis hadn’t planned to ever share these particular shots with anyone, but Briana fell in love with them and Louis didn’t have the heart to tell her no, not when she was still put through the wringer because of him. It wasn’t like he could have let everyone know about what the pictures meant to him and Liam, anyway, about that quiet moment when they’d stood together, suspended in time, when Liam had felt his heart expand in his chest as he caught himself thinking that maybe, just maybe, this was what they could be like, down the road, him and Louis and Freddie. And he’d seen it mirrored in Louis’s eyes when he’d glanced at him, the hope and joy and fear at not knowing where this would lead them but wanting to take the leap anyway.

The reaction from the fans was both better and worse than they'd feared, and Louis logged off all social media after a couple hours, refusing to talk about the messages he'd received and going to lock himself up with Freddie in the nursery. When he finally let Liam in, he still refused to talk, sitting in the rocking chair with Freddie asleep in his lap, blissfully unaware of his father’s red eyes and the tear tracks on his cheeks. 

“Lou…” Liam said, unsure of what to say, but ready to do anything not to see Louis looking like this again. Louis had always been good at ignoring whatever the papers and the fans were saying about him, but he’d always been terrible at dealing with people he loved being abused, especially when he felt responsible for it.

“I can't do this,” Louis whispered, blinking more tears away, and Liam gently took Freddie away from him, laying him down in his cot and zipping his sleeping sack over him before pulling Louis up from the chair and into his arms. They hugged for a long time, until Louis untangled himself from Liam's arms to go check on Briana.

Later that night, both of them lying in the same bed, Liam curled around Louis's back, Louis finally let the frustration out, his voice breaking as he told Liam about having to watch Briana cry and tell him she didn't know what to do to make people happy, the flashbacks he kept getting about seeing Eleanor in the exact same situation and the utter frustration at having it happen again and still not being able to make anything better.

They only seemed to get up stronger from it, however, and as Liam watched them bending over Freddie’s cot a few days later, gazing down at him like they still couldn’t quite believe they’d been responsible for his creation, he felt a weird sense of pride on their behalf. They formed an unlikely family, neither of them in love with the other but both so clearly in love with Freddie, and Liam thought maybe it worked even better that way, because sentiments weren’t there to muck up any of the decisions they had to take about their newborn son.

Navigating the unmapped waters of his new relationship with Louis amid all of that wasn’t the easiest thing, especially when there was no proper outlet for all the thoughts and urges now eating away at Liam’s brain every time he caught Louis licking his lips or let his fingertips slide against the naked skin of Louis’s hips. There was no repeat of their little slip-up, but Louis would sneak into Liam’s bedroom every evening after his first check-up on Freddie, waking Liam up with feverish kisses on those rare times Liam hadn’t been awake already, staring at the ceiling and feeling like every cell in his body was on fire. The teasing they used to put each other through on stage didn’t even come close to the torture they inflicted upon each other now, hands roaming over each other’s bodies but always ignoring the one spot where they were both desperate to be touched. Louis would not be swayed, and Liam did not want to insist, but with every passing day holding off became a little harder... Actually, _everything_ became much harder, no matter how many times Liam let off steam in the privacy of his en suite bathroom. Louis laughed at him when Liam whispered that to him in a hallway, but the way he pushed Liam against the wall and kissed him senseless in the middle of the day, uncaring of who might see them, made the frustration a little easier to bear.

The days passed by, stolen kisses and soft baby sighs and more love under one roof than anyone really knew what to do with, and Liam knew things couldn’t stay exactly the same forever, but it really felt like they might.

\--

Exactly a week after he’d arrived in L.A., Liam got out of the shower, towel wrapped around his waist, to find Louis sitting on his bed, his whole face spelling trouble.

“Are you stalking me?” Liam asked, throwing the towel he'd been using to dry his hair straight at Louis's head. Louis caught it effortlessly and let it fall to the floor, for once not interested in upping the ante. He got up fast as lightning and pushed Liam against the bathroom door, sneaking one hand between the folds of Liam's towel and wrapping deft fingers around his limp cock before Liam had a chance to comprehend what was happening. He gasped at the touch, his body flashing hot for a dizzying second, staring down into Louis's eyes as Louis gave his cock a couple of experimental strokes, making it plump up in interest.

“Now what are you hiding under here, Mr Payne,” Louis said, cocking one eyebrow, and this was probably the corniest line he'd ever used on anyone but Liam couldn't find it in him to tease, not when Louis leaned closer and took a lick at Liam's nipple, then another, his fingers resuming their stroking.

“What about… the no messing-around rule,” Liam asked, blindly fumbling for the door's handle, something to hold onto.

“Oh, sorry, did I forget to mention? Everyone’s gone out. We’re the only ones left,” Louis said sweetly, trailing his tongue up to Liam’s neck before closing his lips on the skin right above his adam’s apple, sucking in a bruise.

Liam pushed Louis away with a growl, feeling a little smug at the look of uncertainty that crossed Louis’s face before Liam caught his mouth in a rough kiss, backing him in the direction of the bed. Louis let go of Liam’s cock to steady himself with his hands on Liam’s hips, kissing back with just as much desperation, his stubble rough against Liam’s chin.

“Then why are you wearing so many clothes?” Liam said as the back of Louis’s knees hit the edge of the bed and he toppled backwards, catching himself with one bent arm, dragging Liam down with him with a hand at the back of his neck.

“Dunno,” Louis mumbled against Liam’s lips, tugging on Liam’s towel and pushing it to the floor, sliding his hand up Liam’s back, blunt fingernails pressing against his skin, and Liam couldn’t help but shiver, burying his face against Louis’s neck, teeth grazing his skin. “Clearly I’m an idiot,” Louis said in a breath, arching back under Liam’s body.

“Clearly,” Liam said, fingers already tugging Louis’s sweatpants down. It felt like he had been hard for seven days straight and he was dizzy from the relief of knowing he would soon get to come. Louis raised his hips to make Liam’s job easier, kicking his legs to get his sweatpants the rest of the way off. He was clearly hard, cock already pushing against the fabric of his pants, but Liam let them be for now, slipping his hand under Louis’s t-shirt, stroking his fingertips up his side, then back down to his stomach.

Louis sighed contentedly under him, and when Liam looked up from his neck, Louis was smiling so softly Liam felt almost bad for leaning down and stealing that smile away with his own lips.

“Hey,” Louis said, stroking his fingers up Liam's arm.

“Hey.”

Liam bent down to kiss him again, long and slow, sighing into his mouth when Louis’s fingers closed around his cock, teasing him with light, quick strokes. Kissing was all they’d been able to do since that first night, and yet Liam still couldn’t get enough of it. He’d done so many things with Louis over the years, some of which had blurred the boundaries between friendship and love, but they’d never kissed, not even on a dare, and he found he could spend hours mapping out Louis’s mouth, discovering new ways of making him moan through nips and licks.

Louis’s grip on him became firmer and Liam broke the kiss to trail his lips down to Louis’s sternum, gently prying Louis’s hand away from his cock before tugging Louis’s t-shirt over his head.

“I think you’re missing the point of all this,” Louis said, his own hips bucking up as Liam’s teeth closed around a nipple, fingers tracing the waistband of Louis’s pants.

“Am I?” Liam said, pressing kisses down to Louis’s belly, flicking his tongue against Louis’s belly button. Louis’s breath hitched, cock twitching visibly in his pants, and Liam had to use all his willpower not to rip Louis’s pants off and sink his mouth down on his cock in one go. Instead, he hooked his fingers on the waistband, tugging it down just an inch, licking the stripe of uncovered skin.

“Liam…” Louis’s voice was shaking, all trace of cockiness gone.

“Sorry, am I taking too long?” Liam said, lips brushing against Louis’s skin. “I kinda wanted to take my time with this,” he said, tugging Louis’s pants down another inch, liking the way Louis’s cock fought back against the pull. 

Louis shivered, one hand coming down to grip Liam’s shoulder, fingernails digging in. “Don’t fucking tease,” he said, weakly, but the flush spreading down his chest and the way his hips kept bucking up were saying otherwise. 

Liam didn’t say anything more for a while, pressing kisses back up to Louis’s chest, teasing at his nipples with his tongue and teeth until Louis was shaking under him.

“Li…” he pleaded.

“What d’you want, babe?” Liam asked, hissing as Louis’s fingernails broke the skin of his shoulder. It had been a slip of the tongue, a smooth revert to his usual bed-talk, but the heat in Louis’s eyes when Liam looked up made him determined to say it as often as possible.

Louis didn’t say anything, but looked down at Liam with pleading eyes, and Liam decided to take a chance.

“D’you want me to talk, is that it?” he asked, going back to pressing kisses down Louis’s torso, cheeks flushed from premature embarrassment at the possibility he might have read the signals wrong. But Louis only arched off the bed, letting out a shaky breath, legs moving restlessly against Liam’s.

“ _Please_ ,” he gasped, and Liam couldn’t hold off for a second longer, tugging Louis’s pants all the way down to his knees, making sure to lean away as he did so, not wanting to ruin the mood by getting clubbed under the chin by Louis’s cock as it sprang free. He let Louis’s pants flutter down to the floor, sliding his fingertips back up along Louis’s inner thighs, and finally let himself look.

“Fuck, Lou, look at you…” he breathed. Louis let out a whimper at the words, and some part of Liam dimly reflected that staring at your best friend’s erect cock should probably have felt weirder than it did, but it paled compared to the overwhelming urge to touch it. He didn’t leave himself time to overthink it and wrapped two fingers around the base, holding it still as he swiped his tongue over the length of the shaft, tastebuds bristling under the taste of sweat and sex.

“ _Fuck!_ ” Louis cried out, hands flying down to grab at Liam’s arms, tugging on them, but Liam didn’t budge, taking another lick, tongue teasing at the ridge under the head of Louis’s cock. “Stop, stop!” Louis said, bending one knee and jamming it against Liam’s chest. Liam finally looked up, confused and a little angry. He’d been able to think of nothing else for days and now- “Don’t want... to come so soon,” Louis gasped. “Please.”

Liam grinned. “I only took one lick,” he said, crawling back up Louis’s body and lying on his side next to him, propped up on one bent arm. Louis glared at him, flushed and panting and so very, very tempting. “Surely you couldn’t come from that,” Liam said, leaning down to kiss him. Louis bit him, but Liam ignored it, teasing his tongue inside Louis’s mouth so Louis had no other choice but to kiss back, which he did with conviction. Liam laid a hand on Louis’s stomach, feeling him push up against it, hips trying to rise off the bed as Liam sucked on his tongue as suggestively as he could.

Louis keened straight into Liam’s mouth and Liam broke the kiss, looking down at him with undisguised awe. “If I’d known you’d get off to me talking to you, I’d have tried it earlier,” he said, liking the way Louis’s eyes closed tightly shut for a second, his body tensing up involuntarily. He didn’t quite understand what was doing it for Louis, but the power was exhilarating. “D'you think you could come like this?” he asked, brushing his fingers down the trail of hairs below Louis's belly button but making sure not to touch his cock. “Just from me talking to you?” he added, whispering the words against Louis's ear before pressing a kiss to the soft skin below his hair.

Louis was shaking under his hand, but didn't say anything, mouth opened in an effort to keep breathing, skin flushed.

“Lou,” Liam said, brushing his stubbled cheek against Louis's shoulder, down to his chest, back up to his neck. “D'you think you could be that desperate?”

He didn't quite know where the words were coming from, but seeing Louis so undone and vulnerable was making something inside of him grow, an urge to see how far he could push him, how much he could ruin him.

He trailed his hand down to Louis's legs, pressing his fingers down on the soft flesh of his inner thigh, watching as Louis's cock twitched, rising up as if to meet an invisible hand. “Wow, I think you might be,” he said, mesmerized. 

This was probably why Louis was able to take him by surprise, surging up without any warning and flipping them over, towering over Liam's body on his hands and knees, sweaty hair falling over his eyes as he bent down to bite at Liam's bottom lip hard enough to hurt. Liam grabbed at his hips, trying to bring him down, but Louis showed remarkable resistance, considering he looked like he might dissolve any second. Louis leaned down again, teasing at Liam’s lips with the tip of his tongue before slipping it into Liam’s mouth, kissing him breathless. When Louis broke the kiss, Liam wasn’t so sure anymore that he wouldn’t be the first one to make a mess of himself. Louis’s eyes were dark as he brushed his lips against Liam’s parted lips, whispering, “Keep talking.”

It took Liam a few seconds to remember how to speak, but he fought against the haze in his brain, not wanting to let Louis down, not wanting the spell to break.

“I don't know if I should,” he finally said, voice strangled. He let his eyes roam down the length of Louis’s body, taking in his abs contracted with the strain of keeping himself up, his stomach heaving with every breath, the tip of his cock glistening with precome. “Look at you,” Liam continued, voice hardly above a whisper. “Christ, you look like you're gonna blow any second.”

Louis dropped his forehead against Liam's shoulder, choking back a moan. His arms were shaking like leaves on either side of Liam’s head but he stayed up, and Liam stopped trying to pull him down, moving his hands up and down Louis’s sides, feeling Louis’s body twitch under his fingers.

“Keep talking,” Louis said again, weakly biting at Liam’s shoulder.

“T’s pretty embarrassing, to be honest,” Liam said, not thinking a word of it but dimly conscious that mocking was what got the best reactions out of Louis. He’d have time to analyze all this later. Right now he only wanted to make Louis come, by any means necessary. “You’d think you were still a teenager.”

Louis’s teeth unclenched from around his shoulder and for a second Liam worried that he’d read the signs wrong, gone too far, but when Louis raised his head to look into Liam’s eyes again he was flushed red, lips glistening and eyes unfocused. He didn’t say anything this time, didn’t look like he could have even if he wanted to.

Liam slipped a hand down to Louis’s stomach, letting his knuckles bump against Louis’s cock, feeling the precome wet against his skin. Louis whimpered, pressing his mouth against Liam’s but not actually kissing him, his arms finally giving out, elbows falling against Liam’s shoulders.

“Are you close, Lou?” Liam asked, gently holding Louis’s face up with his free hand, thumb stroking his cheek. “It’s a pity you’re gonna come so soon,” he added, trailing his fingers back and forth over Louis’s belly, fingertips dipping in his belly button; “I kinda had more stuff planned out.”

“What stuff,” Louis muttered instantly, turning his head to catch Liam’s thumb between his teeth, closing his eyes as he started sucking on it. Liam’s hips rose up of their own accord, but there was nothing to grind against, Louis’s own hips still hovering ten inches above him.

“Told you, didn’t I?” Liam said, getting distracted by the sight of Louis’s cheeks hollowing as he sucked harder, by the thought of those lips doing the same thing around his cock. “I still haven’t gotten my mouth on you. I really, really want to get my mouth on you. It’s all I can fucking think about, getting your come on my tongue.”

Louis shuddered from head to toe, letting Liam’s thumb slip out of his mouth as he swore, and Liam barely had time to get his other hand out of the way before Louis’s body slumped down on top of him, his hips only moving against Liam’s stomach twice before Liam felt the warmth of come on his skin, Louis’s cock pulsing between them as he came with what sounded a lot like a sob.

Liam had been entertaining the thought of maybe getting Louis to blow him but he quickly dismissed it, getting a hold of Louis’s hips and keeping him in place so he could grind up against him, chasing his own orgasm with unfeigned desperation. He felt Louis’s lips closing around his earlobe, sucking gently, before Louis’s breath fanned hot on his ear. “Who’s desperate now?” Louis whispered, sounding cockier than any one who had just come his brains out had any right to be, and Liam bit his lip around a moan as he came, adding to the mess Louis had already made on both their stomachs; in a few minutes he would find it disgusting, but right then the idea of their come mixing on his skin made him want to get hard all over again.

Louis pressed a kiss against his shoulder before rolling away from him, lying on his back next to him, their sides pressed together, Louis’s pinky finger sneakily hooking over Liam’s.

“Well that was… nice…” Liam said, staring at the ceiling and wondering if his heart would ever slow down again. He couldn’t seem to stop panting.

“If by ‘nice’ you mean fucking amazing, then yes, it was nice,” Louis said, bumping his foot against Liam’s ankle in what might have been a rebuff before rolling off the bed and stumbling to the bathroom.

Liam didn’t move. He wasn’t sure he could stand up anyway. He listened to the sounds of running water and Louis swearing under his breath, then to silence. It felt weird, the silence, after being in a house filled with grown-ups and a crying baby for days.

“Catch!”

Liam blinked, and yelped as an icy cold flannel smacked wetly on his stomach, right on the patch of dried come. “What the fuck did you do that for?!” he yelled as he sat up, but he couldn’t stop himself from grinning, especially not when he looked up and saw Louis standing near the bed, eyes twinkling with mischief.

“You jackass,” he said fondly, rubbing at his stomach and cock, wishing Louis hadn’t dipped the flannel in cold water, but he guessed warm water would have defeated the purpose of the joke. He’d need a proper shower at some point, but this would do for now. 

He didn’t try to throw the flannel at Louis’s face since Louis was obviously expecting it, and instead lunged forward and grabbed Louis by the arm, tugging him back down on top of him until they were both lying down, Louis kneeling over Liam’s body, arms folded on Liam’s chest.

“God, you're so hairy,” Louis said, brushing his fingers over Liam's chest hair.

“Is that good or bad?” Liam asked, sliding his hands from Louis's hips down to his arse, taking note of the involuntary twitch of Louis's hips as he did so.

“It's just hair,” Louis said, not helpfully at all, tipping his head down to press a soft kiss to the hollow of Liam’s throat, then another to his Adam’s apple, to his chin, his lips. He shifted so his forearms rested on the mattress above Liam's shoulders, slipping his hands under Liam's head as he deepened the kiss. Liam's hands tightened on Louis's arse by reflex and Louis ground his hips down again, even though they were both too spent to get hard again just yet. Liam slid his hands up Louis's back and into his hair, burying his fingers into the soft strands, glad Louis wasn't the type to impulsively cut his hair short.

Eventually he rolled them over and pressed himself against Louis's side, hooking one leg over Louis's, sprinkling kisses down to his chest before leaning back to take one good look at Louis's body. He still couldn’t quite believe that it was his to touch, that this wasn’t just some kind of fevered dream. He’d often felt that way with Sophia, looked at her and wondered how a guy like him had ever been able to seduce a girl like her, but with Louis it was even worse, despite them having been friends for ages. Because to be honest he’d already been wondering, back then, how someone like him could be best friends with someone as funny and smart as Louis.

“Hasn't your mum taught you it's rude to stare?” Louis bitched, pinching Liam's side, but Liam ignored him, letting his fingers follow the motion of his eyes, fluttering over Louis's chest and thighs.

“How much time d’you think we have left?” he asked, leaning down to pepper kisses down Louis’s chest, to his abs, his hips, one hand stroking the soft skin at the back of Louis’s knee, creeping up his thigh.

“Don’t know,” Louis said, sounding short of breath. “Why?”

“Well there’s still that one thing I’ve been wanting to do,” Liam mumbled against Louis’s skin, nibbling at Louis’s hip before trailing his lips back to his belly button, knuckles grazing against Louis’s balls. He could see Louis’s cock perking up from the corner of his eye and smiled, dipping his tongue in Louis’s belly button, feeling Louis’s stomach muscles tensing up.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. If you’re up for it,” Liam said, smiling at his own pun.

“Oh I’m up for it,” Louis said, and he was definitely getting there, Liam thought with satisfaction as he wrapped his hand around Louis’s cock, feeling him hardening the rest of the way against his palm.

“Ever done this before?” Louis asked, sounding a bit dazed, as Liam gave him a couple of strokes, staring unabashedly at his cock.

“Nah,” he said, because there was no point in lying to Louis, no reason to try and be cooler than he was. “I've been on the receiving end a _lot_ , though, if that counts.”

Louis grunted. “Please, I don't wanna know what you and Soph’ got up to.”

Liam had never given a blow job, but he found himself remarkably calm at the prospect. At least he knew from experience what felt nice and what didn't. The smell was familiar, he'd smelled it on his own hand after wanking himself about a million times before, and he'd tasted his own come on his girlfriends’ lips enough times not to be squeamish at the thought of it.

“Liam?”

Liam shook his head, snapping out of his daydreaming and focusing on the very real, very hard cock in front of him. He took a lick at the entire length of it, just like before, and swirled his tongue around the head before carefully wrapping his lips around it, keeping it still with two fingers at the base.

Louis sighed, one hand coming down to stroke Liam's shoulder. Liam hoped he'd tell him if he was doing okay. It was much easier to do a good job when his partners guided him, and Liam took pride in leaving the people he slept with perfectly sated.

He slid his lips down an inch, a bit taken aback at just how big Louis felt in his mouth, hoping his jaw wouldn't cramp up too fast. He pulled back up and took a lick at the head, dipping the tip of his tongue in the slit, gratified by another sigh from Louis, his hand sliding to the back of Liam's head, not pushing but gently stroking.

“Fuck, Li…” Louis whispered, and Liam preened a little before sinking his mouth down on Louis's dick again, taking more of him in, only stopping when his gag reflex threatened to kick in. He definitely wasn't about to deepthroat Louis on his first attempt, not when he was still trying to adjust to the size of him, and to the taste, so different from what he'd gotten used to when going down on women, much stronger and, in a way he couldn't have explained, inescapably manly.

“Fuck, babe, like that,” Louis gasped as Liam sucked experimentally at his cock, stroking his fingers up and down what he couldn't fit inside, and he suddenly understood why Sophia had loved to blow him so much, why she'd always said she liked the power that came with it. Having Louis at his mercy, the most vulnerable part of his anatomy nestled into Liam's mouth, felt fucking amazing.

He started properly bobbing his head then, jaw already getting sore but determined to bring Louis as close to orgasm as possible before he had to stop, pressing his tongue to the underside of Louis's cock and teasing at the ridge before going down again, his fingers stilling when it became too hard to focus on both his mouth and his hand at once. 

Louis kept mumbling profanities, feet digging in the mattress as he restlessly shifted his legs, knees pressing against Liam’s sides. “Shit, yes, faster, fuck, a bit - yeah, _this_ , goddamn…”

Liam let Louis’s cock slip out of his mouth, gulping down air and resuming his stroking; there was something deeply satisfying about seeing Louis’s cock shiny with his own spit, a satisfaction that shot straight down to his own cock, twitching smugly against his stomach. Now he could enjoy the sight of Louis coming undone, his wide eyes fixed on Liam’s mouth. Liam licked his lips deliberately slowly and smiled at the way Louis’s eyes fell shut and his mouth fell open, one hand clenching around the bed sheets as his hips started pumping up into Liam’s fist, his balls visibly tightening as his orgasm drew near.

“You’re so fucking fit,” Liam whispered, trailing the fingers of his other hand over Louis’s abs, reverently. “So fucking fit, can’t believe I get to make you come, can’t believe how gorgeous your cock is...”

His rambling came to a stop as Louis came with a shout, come shooting over his stomach, some of it reaching his chest, the rest staining Liam’s fingers as he stroked him through it, only stopping when Louis weakly batted his hand away, turned to mush on the mattress, a contented grin on his face.

Liam leaned down and swiped the come that had landed on Louis’s nipple with his tongue, earning himself another surprised moan from Louis. It tasted pretty much like his own, bitter and gooey and not exactly good, but not really bad either. He bent over the edge of the bed in search of the flannel and wiped his hand with it as best he could, stilling when Louis’s lips brushed against his bent back, one hand sneaking around to wrap itself around Liam’s cock. Liam sighed, the grip of Louis’s fingers just tight enough, his movements quick and sure. 

Louis let go just long enough to crawl around and settle on Liam’s lap, wrapping one arm around Liam’s shoulders while his hand went back to stroking him, Louis’s tongue coming to tease at Liam’s lips, demanding entrance. His kisses were slow like molasses, in complete contrast to his deft strokes, making Liam’s body confused in the best of ways until he was panting against Louis’s lips, hands roaming over Louis’s back and arse, burying into his hair, gripping his shoulders, some small part of him still trying to make sure it was all real.

“That felt so good, Li,” Louis softly said, pressing kisses down Liam’s jaw, never stopping his stroking; “Always knew you’d be amazing in the sack, always wanted to make sure…” Liam shivered, pressing a kiss of his own against Louis’s cheek, wanting him to shut up and never stop talking, embarrassed at how much he liked being praised, how badly he craved the compliments. “Are you gonna come for me again?” Louis said, closing his lips around Liam’s earlobe and sucking gently, his thumb teasing at Liam’s slit on every upstroke, his grip tightening as Liam got close, closer, feeling the familiar tingling in his balls, the rush of blood in his veins.

“‘love you,” Louis whispered in his ear, and Liam came undone.

“Fuck, fuck!” he choked out, coming all over his stomach and Louis's hand, hands clenched around Louis’s biceps. He rested his forehead against Louis’s shoulder, keeping his eyes closed, feeling his cheeks burn up from sheer embarrassment even as his body was still coming down from his high.

“Never had _that_ reaction before,” Louis said, and his tone was so unbearably smug, Liam knew Louis would bring this up for _months_ afterwards. Possibly years. Actually he’d most probably include it in his speech at Liam’s funeral.

Liam slowly straightened up and opened his eyes, looking at Louis with as much dignity as he could muster, which wasn’t much at all. But Louis’s smile wasn’t cocky at all, in fact he looked bewildered in the best of ways.

“Shut up,” Liam said, still, and Louis chuckled, raising his come-streaked hand to his lips and letting his tongue peek out, flicking against his finger. Liam’s breath caught in his throat.

“Hm, not so bad,” Louis mused, before sucking his index finger into his mouth, eyes fixed on Liam’s.

Liam watched him lick his hand clean, mouth hanging open like a goldfish, and if he hadn’t just come his brains out for the second time he would have been hard again by now. Louis let his last finger pop out of his mouth and Liam crushed his lips against his, sucking the taste of his own come from Louis’s tongue and flipping them over, settling his weight over Louis’s body, entwining his fingers with Louis’s wet ones and pressing their hands into the mattress on the side of Louis’s head.

“Love you too,” Liam mumbled against Louis’s lips, and the way Louis’s body stilled under his made him lean back, but Louis surged upwards, kissing him with what felt a lot like desperation, his free hand coming to rest on the nape of Liam's neck, pressing him back down. When Liam finally managed to break the kiss, Louis looked flushed and soft, his eyes crinkling as he let his lips curl into a smile.

“Well I sure hope you do, after everything I've done for you,” Louis said, much too late, and Liam just shook his head and pecked him on the lips before rolling on his back, wrapping his arm around Louis's back as Louis cuddled up to his side, resting his head on Liam's chest and yawning loudly.

“Why the fuck did we do this when we could have been sleeping?” Louis asked before yawning again, lazily stroking Liam's belly with his fingertips.

“Beats me,” Liam said, unable to resist the sympathy yawn pushing up his own throat.

He was drifting off when they were both startled by the loud buzzing of his phone on the nightstand. Liam lazily reached out, fumbling blindly until his fingers closed around his phone. He had a text message from an unknown number: _Heading back ;)_

“That’s Briana,” Louis said, nuzzling his face against Liam’s neck. “What does she say?”

“They’re heading back,” Liam said, wondering if Louis had told her, or if she’d guessed by herself.

Louis snorted against his neck. “Thank god for her,” he said, and rolled away, stretching with a grunt. “Guess we’d better get showered then,” he said, making no effort to move.

“Guess so,” Liam said, letting the phone drop to the mattress. He was glad for the warning, but he was also exhausted and would have very much enjoyed a nap.

Louis sighed dramatically and got off the bed, stretching again as he stood, rising on tiptoes, arms reaching for the ceiling. Liam watched the muscles shift beneath his back, the golden glow of his skin in the morning sunlight, and wondered once more how he could have gotten so lucky.

“Are you going to lie there like a pancake all day,” Louis said, glancing back at Liam with a reproving look on his face. “I need someone to wash my hair,” he added, strutting to the bathroom in a very deliberate way.

Liam smiled to himself, and got out of bed.

\--

His parents left the next day, eager to go back to their English routine. Johannah had already gone a few days previous, not wanting to leave her other children alone for too long, making Louis promise to facetime her every night so she could see Freddie.

Liam had been ever so slightly worried that Louis might expect him to leave, too, but when Liam’s parents said their goodbyes, Louis dumped Freddie in Liam’s arms to hug Karen, and didn’t take him back afterwards. He never actually asked Liam to stay, but he acted as if there was no other possibility, so Liam stayed.

He stayed while Louis was overseeing the decoration of the luxury pad he had decided to rent, and he moved his bags to said pad when the renovations were done, and he folded his clothes in the set of drawers in Louis’s bedroom, and he left his toothbrush next to Louis’s in the en suite bathroom. It all happened so naturally that he barely took notice of it, and it wasn’t until weeks later, one evening sitting in front of the TV with Freddie sleeping against his chest, Louis cuddled up next to him with one finger held tightly by his infant son, that Liam realized he’d moved in with Louis.

He said as much out loud, and Louis snorted against his shoulder, tilting his head to the side to glance up at him with a smirk.

“Wondered how long it’d take you to notice,” he said, leaning up to peck Liam on the lips.

Liam grinned, and kissed him back.

 


End file.
